Shakes, Quakes, and ME Injured
Thursday, June 16, 2005
So I am at the new job...You know, like, working and stuff....And all of a sudden some heifer runs by the room I am in.
OH WAIT IT WAS ANOTHER EARTHQUAKE!!
So as I stand there deciding if I should or shouldn't dive under the desk, it started shaking harder. Mind you I am on the second story of a VERY large building that is no doubtedly on rollers. What do I do? DIVE I DIVE under that desk like a little ninny!!! They claim this quake was only 15 seconds long I say ::cough::bull crap::cough:: It was much longer than that! Granted I was on the 2nd floor.
Just as I get under the desk my work training manual (which weighs about 7 trillion pounds) comes flying towards my face! I put my hand up and what happens??? THAT IS RIGHT I GET AN EFFIN' PAPER CUT!!! I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT A SMALL NORMAL PAPER CUT WE ARE TALKING STOCK-PAPER-NOTEBOOK-DIVIDER-THINGY-PAPER-CUT (sorry Brent).
I AM INJURED!!! And we are done shaking now -- all I could think about was my stinging finger and I hear the guy from GA (not VA) mono tone-ishly saying "I'm gonna die" repeatedly (think: Aviator "Show me all the blue prints" I truly feel really bad for him.
Ok I have a grumpy BF I say good night now.
:Posted By: Jacqueline Mardelle On: Thursday, June 16, 2005:
Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin Down. Tuesday, June 14, 2005
2 Comments:
6/18/2005 07:18:00 PM 
Mary said...
6/19/2005 05:01:00 PM word. said...
A little post about the EQuake... I got a new job (finally... I am sure I will be talking about it later) and we were going over "emergency procedures" and the trainer lady asked what we would do in the event of an earthquake. This guy that just moved out here from GA or VA I don't know which, said the usual out of state response "duck and cover" and of course I laughed so she called on me (at this point I felt like I was back in school) as I was still giggling I managed to get out the words "sit there". This poor guy is frightened to death of earthquakes and here I am just thinking they are funny. Then he got all nervous and asked if I felt the one this weekend I said yeah I felt the bed move and woke up, figured out it was an earthquake and went back on sleeping. Poor guy!
:Posted By: Jacqueline Mardelle On: Tuesday, June 14, 2005:
Princess Slappy Thursday, June 09, 2005
2 Comments:
6/16/2005 04:07:00 PM Shari said...
6/18/2005 07:20:00 PM Mary said...
:Posted By: Jacqueline Mardelle On: Thursday, June 09, 2005:
Random funny things I ran across while surfing...
4 Comments:
6/10/2005 09:17:00 AM Shari said...
6/10/2005 11:21:00 AM word. said...
6/13/2005 05:41:00 PM Linds said...
6/13/2005 07:22:00 PM Shari said...
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:Directions:
Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on bottom of the box)Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
And...
Unanswered Questions:
1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
4. Is there another word for synonym?
5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"
6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
:Posted By: Jacqueline Mardelle On: Thursday, June 09, 2005:
I call him Grolmo Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Nuff Said
4 Comments:
6/10/2005 11:50:00 AM Mary said...
6/11/2005 01:12:00 PM Sean said...
6/11/2005 06:28:00 PM Doug The Una said...
6/12/2005 05:17:00 PM word. said...
:Posted By: Jacqueline Mardelle On: Wednesday, June 08, 2005:
Poem (kinda) Tuesday, June 07, 2005
6 Comments:
6/08/2005 08:53:00 PM Linds said...
6/08/2005 10:24:00 PM Brent said...
6/08/2005 10:25:00 PM Brent said...
6/09/2005 11:53:00 AM word. said...
6/09/2005 07:09:00 PM Shari said...
6/10/2005 01:05:00 PM Shari said...
I was really debating about whether or not I should post this but Shari said that I should so I shall...
I wrote that in the middle of the night last night. I just woke up and started writing poems this is one of them. Shari said she liked it so I am posting it trusting that she wasn't just being "nice". I am sure I will find out sooner or later....
:Posted By: Jacqueline Mardelle On: Tuesday, June 07, 2005:
I AM SO SO SO SORRY!!
1 Comments:
6/07/2005 11:36:00 PM Shari said...
I know people just can't handle it when I don't post... But I was helping my dear blogger friend Linds out with her blog and then I was also doing Jonathan's (my boyfriend) blog as well. So even though I have not posted lately I have nonetheless been a busy little blogging bee...
So go see my new creations.
Lets see...
I need to post some updates on my life... hmmm... Not much to say really just lookin' for a job. I have an interview tomorrow! I also had one today! So that is bueno! I will let everyone know how it goes! Well I am off to bed now good night all!
:Posted By: Jacqueline Mardelle On: Tuesday, June 07, 2005:
1 Comments:
6/07/2005 11:34:00 PM Shari said...
{Brent}
"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."
{Hunter S. Thompson}
"...an ocean tumbled by with a private boat for me and i sailed off through the night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year to where the wild things are."
{Where The Wild Things Are -- Maurice Sendak}
"I think I'll be a clown when I get grown," said Dill. "Yes, sir, a clown.... There ain't one thing in this world I can do about folks except laugh, so I'm gonna join the circus and laugh my head off." "You got it backwards, Dill," said Jem. "Clowns are sad, it's folks that laugh at them." "Well, I'm gonna be a new kind of clown. I'm gonna stand in the middle of the ring and laugh at the folks."
{To Kill A Mockingbird -- Harper Lee}
"There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer."
{Ansel Adams}
"They're certainly entitled to think that, and they're entitled to full respect for their opinions... but before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience."
{Atticus -- To Kill A Mockingbird -- Harper Lee}
"There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs."
{Ansel Adams}
"A stiff apology is a second insult.... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt."
{G.K. Chesterton}
"...but I don't think I give an elf's butt about that."
{Mary}
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