Jacquee's Crackies

For Mary

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Christmas Fruitcake Recipe

Items Needed:

4 Oz. Fruit Bits
1 Railroad Tie
Wood Saw
Large Rubber Mallot
Safety Goggles

WEAR YOUR SAFETY GOGGLES. (Children: Get help from an
adult!)
Cut a one-foot section from the middle of your railroad tie.
The resulting
block of wood should be the size and shape of a loaf of
bread.

Then, take some fruit bits and pound them into the block
with your rubber
mallot. Spread the colors around, or you might wind up with
an ugly fruitcake. Don't be afraid to throw some elbow grease
into that mallot!
Good fruit bits should be much harder than the railroad tie,
so you can't
break anything.

For best result, you should pre-treat the fruit bits by
setting them on
top of your garage for a year (or by microwaving them on
HIGH for 30
minutes).

Finally, cover it tightly in plastic wrap, and give your
loved ones the
timeless and enduring gift of fruitcake!

:Posted By: Jacqueline Mardelle On: Thursday, December 15, 2005:
7 Comments:

12/15/2005 05:48:00 PM Mary said...
12/15/2005 05:51:00 PM word. said...
12/15/2005 08:10:00 PM Shari said...
12/15/2005 08:25:00 PM Anonymous said...
12/18/2005 02:45:00 AM Linds said...
12/19/2005 01:45:00 AM Shari said...
12/19/2005 01:45:00 AM Shari said...

LOL!
But what are the goggles for? I don't need no stinking goggles!

I actually like fruit cake.
I know! "You would, Mary!!" Yeah, yeah, that's me.

By Mary, at 12/15/2005 05:48:00 PM

That's gross!!! and yes You would...

By word., at 12/15/2005 05:51:00 PM

MARY! That is soooo funny . . . I just told Brent last night "I LIKE fruitcake" and he was like "you're the only person I know who would!" I like it when it's really fresh and is a good recipe. So there, all you fruitcake naysayers. :-)

Jacquee, you never told me who your stalker is. I'm dying to know.

By Shari, at 12/15/2005 08:10:00 PM

I've never had fruitcake, but I have a feeling I would like it!

By Anonymous, at 12/15/2005 08:25:00 PM

Love the recipe.

But really, I came here to whine about how I don't feel well. I don't know why. But you should feel privileged.

Anyhoo... I think I'm going to throw up. But then, I've thought that for the last, oh, 16 hours, and haven't thrown up yet.

Frankly, the anticipation (and stomach irritation) is getting more annoying than 2 minutes of throwing up would be.

I hate that.

Anyways... I'm hungry. But if I eat, it makes me more nauseous. And I can't sleep, and thus escape into unconsciousness. And the only thing on is late night tv because its freaking 5:44am and all my friends are sleeping and I can't clean because I need to vacuum and my neighbors will hear me and again, I feel nauseous.

Eh.

By Linds, at 12/18/2005 02:45:00 AM

Linds, I'm sorry you're feeling that icky. That sucks! I hate that throwing up feeling. I threw up last month (the first time in 10 years) and I hated it. Yuck.

By Shari, at 12/19/2005 01:45:00 AM

Jacquee, I'm up if you want to call me. We were out all day so I missed your call. :-)

By Shari, at 12/19/2005 01:45:00 AM

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"ummmm ... no Jacquee dear I do not. Your real nickname is 'perfect little angel that everyone loves and adores'"
{Brent}

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{Where The Wild Things Are -- Maurice Sendak}

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{To Kill A Mockingbird -- Harper Lee}

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{Ansel Adams}

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{Mary}

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